Emma's Salvation
by kleekeaton
Summary: Paul never wanted to Imprint let alone on someone who is struggling with an Eating Disorder. Follow Paul and his Imprint Emma as he tries to save her from the darkest parts of herself. [Paul; OC]
1. Chapter 1

**I Do Not Own Twilight or anything associated to Stephanie Meyers. I own only my original character.**

It's been so long now. 3 years 6 months and 15 days to be exact. That's how long I've been "recovered". At least that's what everyone else calls it; I like to call it hell.

Ever since my parents forced me into a hospital that filled my veins with sugar water, therapeutic talks, group sharing and meal planning, I've been miserable. I've done just as I've been told though, eaten every little bite they put onto my plate and keeping in down in my stomach instead of throwing it up and flushing it down the toilet where it belongs.

I've been a good girl and followed my "recovery" plan to a 'T', but now I'm tired of it. I'm tired of shutting off the voice in my head telling me I'm turning into a cow. I know it's right and I'm becoming a fat tub of lard, but I fight it. That's what everyone wants me to do, so I give into them. They say I'm getting "healthy" and I look "great" but I know they're all lying. So I have to get away, get back to who I truly am and who I really want to be.

Today's my 18th birthday which means it's the day I gain my freedom and I'm moving back to my hometown of Forks, Washington.

"Emma are you sure you're going to be alright on your own? Have you found a Therapist to work with you in Forks? "Mother says to me.

"Yes mother, I have everything under control. Promise" I reply plastering my most convincing fake smile onto my face. Obviously I'm lying. I wouldn't dream of continuing therapy.

Therapy for me is literal torture. Dr. Fields, my current therapist, analyzes every move I make. She has come to know all of my tells and it's agony. Pure agony. I won't make myself go through that any longer. I can't bear it anymore, it's all just too much.

I finish packing my things and load them up into mother's car so that she can take me to the airport to catch my flight.

I have a heaping list of things to do once I land in Forks. I've got to get myself settled into our home there, get myself a brand new scale and begin my life again.

My parents and I lived in Forks back before my brain went haywire with counting calories and working out until my muscles went limp.

I was 13 when we moved here to the even smaller than Forks, Ringgold Georgia. My parents decided to keep the home in Forks in case we ever decided to move back.

I'm extremely thankful they did because now I will have no guardians around me to monitor meal times and prevent me from stepping on the scale.

God the scale… I haven't weighed myself in so long I'm sure when I step on it it's going to break. I know I've gained a crazy amount of weight due to the fact that when I was at my best I was wearing a size 00 jean. Now, unfortunately I'm wearing a size 4 jean. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about it. I can't… not yet.

I don't want them to know.

They can't know.

 _Get it together Emma. You're almost free_.

After what seems like an eternity in the car, we finally arrive at the airport.

"Now Emma, please don't forget to call every day. We'll be coming to visit you in a few months. Are you sure you're going to be alright? I don't want you to ruin all the progress you've made and crumble away again" mother says with disdain all over her face.

I place my hand on her shoulder and look her straight in the eye as I say "Mom, I'm going to be fine. You don't have to worry."

She seems to be put slightly at ease by my words and gives me a lingering hug before I make my way into the airport to find my gate.

Freedom at last.

The flight takes about 6 hours and in that time I'm offered a can of soda (150), a muffin (80) and a banana (105). I refuse them all and simply sit drinking my water (0).

This is going to be good.

Paul (POV)

I woke up this morning feeling lighter somehow. It's like I can sense that this day is going to be special. I leave the house with a smile on my face and head the diner on the Rez to meet up with Jake, Embry and Jared. Of course they'll all have their imprints with them. Blech my stomach turns at the sight of all the imprint couples together. Half of the time they act like no one else is even near them. They're in the own little world or something. It's seriously gross.

As I'm walking down the road, I see a taxi pulling up to the empty house at the end of my street. A family use to live there like 5 years ago or something like that. I never met any of them though. They usually kept to themselves and then they moved away.

I see the door of the taxi open and my mouth drops. I see an amazingly beautiful girl step out with a bag over her shoulder. She's got long luscious dark brown hair that comes to the middle of her back. She's wearing a light gray sweatshirt that is hanging loosely off her body with black running shorts and dark maroon vans. She's got beautiful tan skin, and legs for days.

I see her move to the back of the taxi to get the rest of her bags. I run up and offer my help.

"Hey you need any help there?" I ask with a smile plastered onto my face.

She turns around and looks at me for the first time since she steps out of the cab and my world stops.

My heart feels like it's been injected with some type of warm substance.

It's like a light has been turned on in my body. I can see clearer, everything looks so BRIGHT!

I look into her eyes and they are the most beautiful shade of gray I have ever seen in my life.

I am momentarily stunned.

After what seems like an eternity she speaks.

"Oh, uhm Hi. I think I've got it but thanks anyways."

I'm instantly disappointed. I need to help her, hug her, hold her.

"Oh… okay. I'm Paul by the way." I say trying not to sound too eager.

"Emma." She responds giving me a small smile. It doesn't seem to reach her eyes though.

Now that I'm looking at her she looks tiny. Her arms are so thin and her legs look like they could snap just from her walking.

She grabs her bag from out of the trunk and turns to walk towards her house.

I realize I need to say something, anything.

"Maybe I'll see you around Emma?" I ask hoping her answer is a resounding yes.

"Maybe" is all she replies and then she walks into her house and I can no longer see her anymore.

 **I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter. I know it seems a little jumbled…. I really just wanted to introduce my character. I will elaborate more on her past and anything and everything else in later chapters. I'm going to make a goal to update this daily! Please feel free to leave a review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I Do Not Own Twilight or anything associated to Stephanie Meyers. I own only my original character.**

Emma (POV)

My plane finally lands in Forks and I rush through the Airport to grab my luggage and get a Taxi. I contemplated getting a car when I got here, but it's a pretty small town and I'd rather walk to where I need to go. Burns more calories that way.

We finally pull up to the house and I'm so excited I barely remember to pay the driver. I hand him $40.00 and then step out of the car. I walk around to the trunk to grab the rest of my things when I hear someone running up to me.

"Hey you need any help there?" This stranger asks walking up to stand right next to me.

I turn my head and look at him.

Wow.

He could possibly be the hottest guy I have ever seen.

I am momentarily stunned.

I need to speak.

 _You don't need his help. You need to carry those bags in yourself. Your arms are huge and they need the work out._

"Oh, uhm Hi. I think I've got it but thanks anyways." I reply shyly looking straight into the trunk.

I feel like I'm gawking at this crazy hot boy.

No, not boy… man.

"Oh…okay. I'm Paul by the way." He finally says.

Paul… huh. That names suits him very well. He definitely looks like a Paul.

A very HOT Paul. God must really hate me to have such a good looking guy standing here right now.

 _You're not here for men Emma. You're here to get yourself back on track. Focus._

"Emma." Is all I respond back to him.

I grab my stuff out of the trunk of the cab and turn walking towards my house.

I'm being rude aren't I? Should I say something else, like invite him in or something? Should I have let him help me?

 _Emma…stop. You've got to get inside and get your things settled and then head to town to get a scale and start your life over. Get it together. Seriously._

"Maybe I'll see you around Emma?" He calls out after me.

Uhm… yes! Absolutely yes! How could I deny such a god like man?

 _Emma. No. You're getting off track with this boy. What do you think he sees looking at you right now. He sees a FAT COW. You're too grotesquely big for anyone to find attractive right now. He's just being polite. Get inside and start your plan. Once you're back to a reasonable size, he'll want you._

Right. Of course. He probably wants to throw up looking at my tubby stomach and thunder thighs. I'm gross. Got it.

"Maybe" is all I say as I unlock the door and step inside my childhood home.

I walk up the steps and set my things down in the master bedroom. It's the biggest room in this house and has a bathroom connected to it.

My childhood home isn't anything really to brag about. It's a small 2 story 3 bedroom house.

It's got plenty of space for me by myself.

I'm by myself.

Finally.

I never thought this day would come.

I quickly put my things away and hop into the shower to get the Airplane stench off of me.

I stay in the shower probably too long, but it was much needed.

When I step out I put on some black leggings and an oversized royal blue sweatshirt with my dark gray vans.

I brush my hair out and put it up into a bun as I run down the stairs and out the door to head into town.

I pick up my run and it feels amazing.

I forgot how much I love to run.

I haven't been allowed too because it was dangerous and unnecessary and wasn't a part of my "recovery" plan.

God am I so glad I don't have to hear that word anymore.

It takes me about 15 minutes to get into town and I feel invigorated.

Running is an amazing way to clear your head while also burning a crazy amount of calories.

Speaking of burning calories I make a mental note to look for a Fit Bit so that I can keep track of how much I'm burning.

I walk into the only sports type store in Forks and search for what I need.

I pick out the best scale they've got and manage to find a high tech fit bit. I walk up to the counter and pay for my things.

I walk out of the store and bump into someone dropping my bag.

"Oh I'm so sorry." I say reaching down to pick up my bag.

"Haha. It's fine really." A familiar voice says to me bending down to help.

I look up to see who's standing in front of me bent down but I already know.

"Paul." I say giving him a smile.

I think I'm going to faint. God he's so attractive. How have I managed to see him twice in one day?

He gives me a huge smile and I'm floored. I think I forget how to breathe.

 _Emma… remember why you're here. It's not to flirt with Paul. It's to get yourself beautiful again. Perfect again. Don't you want that?_

Yes of course. It's all I want.

All I want.

"Hey Emma. Let me help you with that." He says politely.

He grabs the scale that has fallen out of the bag while I'm sitting there just dazed looking at how handsome this man is.

He has a strange look on his face and then he looks directly into my eyes.

"Why did you buy a scale?" He asks in a tone I don't necessarily like.

The way he asks me pulls me back to how my parents talked to me. Like they were confused and disappointed at the same time.

I instantly get angry and defensive.

"The one at my house is broken so I came to buy a new one." I say between gritted teeth.

Why am I even telling him anything? It's really none of his business.

He must've noticed that his prying had pissed me off a little.

"Oh sorry. I didn't mean to be noisy. Do you need any help taking this to your car?" He asks with a look of regret on his face.

"I didn't drive." I blurt out and instantly wish I could take it back.

"You walked here?" He asks me stunned.

"Yes as a matter of fact I did. Is there something wrong with that?" I push back.

I knowingly leave out the fact that I did not walk here. I ran here.

"No of course not." He replies seeming flustered.

"Well I should be getting back home. See you around Paul." I say turning my back to him

"Emma wait." He calls after me.

I turn around.

"Do you want to grab a bite to eat? There's a diner just around the corner that has some amazing food." He says with a huge grin on his face.

I almost say yes. When he smiles like that I don't know how I could say no.

 _Emma, tell him no. Turn back around and go home. You have a lot of work that needs to be done. He is distracting you._

Right. Why am I letting him distract me like this?

"Uhm no thanks. I need to be getting home. Maybe another time." I say and wish that I could take it back.

 _Another time? Really Emma? Are you going to let this man destroy you?_

"Yeah another time…. sounds great." He says looking a little rejected.

I instantly want to go up and comfort him.

 _Turn around and go home Emma!_

I give him a small wave, turn around and head home.

As soon as I know he can't see me anymore, I begin to run..

Paul (POV)

Why did she have a scale? She's so tiny already I could break her. I'm surprised I didn't give her any broken bones when she ran into me coming out of the Store.

And she got so defensive about it.

Stop being a creeper Paul.

At least I got to see her.

Twice in one day. SCORE!

I walk down the sidewalk after she left to go home and head to the diner to meet up with the pack and their Imprints.

I suddenly don't want to throw up at the sounds of that name anymore. I can understand why they are like they are, always so close to one another.

I want to be close to Emma.

Emma.

I pull my brain away from her so I can focus.

I walk into the diner and see Jake sitting with his arm around Nessie.

Right across from them is Jared with Kim and at the end of the table is Embry with Talia.

"Hey guys." I say to them with a wildly huge grin on my face.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Jake asks skeptical.

"I found her." Is all I respond.

"Seriously?!" Nessie shouts.

"Congrats dude." Jared Embry and Jake all tell me patting my back.

"What's her name?" Nessie asks squealing.

"Emma." I say my face spreading into a huge grin.

"Emma. Sounds like a great name." Talia says.

We sit and talk a while longer while I eat my dinner. 2 double cheeseburgers, 2 sides of fries and a Strawberry milkshake.

The usual you know.

I pay for my food and head back down the street to my house.

As I'm walking I let my mind drift back to Emma.

God is she beautiful.

When I bumped into her coming out of Newton's, I was stunned.

She had her hair pulled up into a bun on top of her head.

With her hair pulled back I could see just how beautiful her face really was.

Her eyes are so big and beautiful I could get lost in them.

Her nose is small and turned up at the end.

Her lips are plump but not too full.

Her cheeks are defined by the bones slightly stick out of them.

She had a Royal blue sweatshirt on that complimented her skin tone perfectly.

She should only ever wear Royal blue.

She had some black leggings on that weren't tight enough but looked so sleek coming down just above her shoes.

She is literally perfect.

I can't help but replay seeing her today over and over in my head as I walk home.

I finally get there and look down two houses to where I know she is.

Emma.

My thoughts are consumed by her as I walk in the house.

Tomorrow will be the day I know her.


	3. Chapter 3

**I Do Not Own Twilight or anything associated to Stephanie Meyers. I own only my original character.**

Emma's (POV)

It takes me less time to make it home from the Sports store than it did getting there.

I unlock the door, and immediately open my new scale and set it in front on the hallway in the living room.

I get ready to step on it, but I'm hesitating.

I'm so nervous to see what number is going to pop up.

When I was my best self I weighed a beautiful 98 lbs standing 5'5.

I was beautiful then.

I don't even recognize this body I'm in now. They've done so much damage to it.

 _It's now or never Emma._

Right. Of course.

I'm never going to know how serious this work needs to be until I know where I'm starting.

I take a huge deep breath in and step onto the scale….

113 lbs.

I almost pass out.

This can't be right. There is no way this is right.

How have I let things get this out of control?

 _Yes, things are out of control Emma. But you have the opportunity to take back that control. You need to work harder than you ever did before. Are you ready for this?_

Yes. I'm ready.

I step off of the scale and grab the Fit bit out of my bag and go to stand in front of the stairs.

I decide to do 5 sets of running up and down the stairs before heading into my bedroom to call it a night.

 _If you want to get back to your best you're going to have to do more Emma._

More. Okay.

I head up into my room and decide on doing 5 sets of 25 crunches, 4 sets of 10 lunges per leg and 3 sets of 15 squats.

By the time I'm finished I can barely stand.

I haven't worked out in so long that I am definitely going to be feeling this soreness tomorrow.

When I was in hell…. I wasn't allowed to move.

Moving burned calories and they wanted me fat and plump.

I decide to take another shower to get rid of this sweaty smell and help with some of the soreness that is going to be hurting me tomorrow.

Before they sent me to hell…. I didn't sweat when I worked out or have a single sore spot on my body.

It was pure bliss.

I get out of the shower, grab some of my pajamas and go stand in front of the full length mirror in the room.

I haven't allowed myself to look in a mirror while naked.

I've been too ashamed….. too disgusted.

Disgusted.

I pull my gaze from the floor and look at the body staring back at me from behind the mirror glass.

Her legs are huge. Too big for a person my size…. These legs I see are the type that jiggle every time the tiniest move is made.

Moving my eyes up I see her hips and the extra fat pockets on either side of them. There is so much fat there you could make a tiny incision and pop it like you would a huge pimple.

The front part of her stomach protrudes out in such a way that I'm surprised there aren't any pregnancy rumors going around.

Once I move past her stomach I come to her face…

Her cheeks are too round. She looks like a chipmunk that is storing nuts in there.

I move my gaze out to either side to look at her arms.

They are too big to comprehend. Where they should be small and dainty, they are flabby and filled with poison.

I don't know who this is anymore.

This woman in the reflection is my worst nightmare.

I feel like I can't breathe…..

 _Emma I know you see this horrendous woman that you have become. You think the mirror is wrong, and that it's lying. But it's not. YOU are the one with the fat legs that jiggle together. YOU are the woman that has hips protruding out of your side and a stomach that is so round you could be mistaken for 6 months pregnant. YOU are the one who has chubby cheeks and flabby arms. That Is YOU Emma! Haven't I taught you better than that? I'm ashamed of you Emma. We worked so hard to make you beautiful and you let them ruin it. Now we've got to start over. Sleep now. You're going to need it. The real work begins tomorrow._

Yes. Of course. Tomorrow.

Paul (POV)

I'm surprised I was able to sleep last night. I could NOT stop thinking about Emma.

I should take her some breakfast.

I could pick some muffins up from the diner and take them to her as a 'Welcome back to the neighborhood' kind of gift.

I quickly pull a black shirt and some tan shorts out of my drawer and throw it on with my black low top converse.

I walk out of the house and head to the diner.

Just as I'm turning the corner of my street I see a glimpse of someone running.

I just know that it's her.

I turn my head and sure enough it's Emma.

She's wearing a maroon sweater with dark grey running shorts and black vans. She's got her hair pulled into a messy ponytail on the top of her head.

My god is she beautiful. Even looking like this, I am stunned.

This is my chance.

I pick up my walk and turn it into a run so that I can catch up to her.

Once I'm near her I shout "Emma" waving to her.

She slows her run a little, but not by much.

"Oh, hey Paul" She responds bring her running to a halt.

"You're a runner I see" I say just trying to make conversation.

"Yep." Is all she responds. She looks uncomfortable

"Well I was headed to the diner to get some breakfast. Would you like to join me?" I blurt out ruining my muffin plan.

Oh well. Having breakfast with her is like a dream come true for me at this point.

"Oh uhm. No thanks. I ate before I left the house." She says looking down at her feet.

I can't help but feel like something is off about that statement.

I brush off my feelings and try to think of something else to say to her. I need to talk to her.

"So… what made you move to Forks?" I ask.

"Oh my parents and I lived here when I was younger but my dad got a different job so we moved away. I decided I needed a change after graduation and lucky for me my parents kept our house here so I came back." She responds with a shy smile on her face.

"Wow. So you have that house all to yourself then?" I ask and then immediately regret it.

Great Paul now she's going to think you're some kind of creep!

I expected her to look alarmed; I was shocked to hear her laughing.

" Yes I have the house all to myself… you're not going to like come and peep in my windows at night are you?" She says.

She's got a sense of humor.

God could she be any better? I mean seriously. Funny and gorgeous?

How am I this lucky?

I realize I need to say something or that humor might turn into concern.

"No of course not. Who do you think I am some perve that likes to spy on innocent women?" I respond in a playful tone.

Little does she know I would give anything to be that perve peeking in her window just to catch a glimpse of her body underneath those clothes…..

"I mean in this day and age you can never tell." She responds with a laugh that causes me to burst out laughing as well.

"Well I'd better get going. It was good seeing you Paul." She says as she turns to leave.

No she can't be leaving already. I'm not ready to say goodbye. Who knows when I'm going to see her again?

And then a genius idea strikes me.

"Wait Emma, we're having a bonfire at my buddy Jake's house tonight. Wanna come?"

She stops and contemplates that for a second. She looks like she wants to say yes but something is holding her back.

"Can I see your phone?" She asks walking up and standing so close that I am taken aback by just how beautiful she is this close to my face.

I willingly hand my phone over to her and wonder what she is going to do.

At this point I'm not sure that I care. As long as she stays this close to me she can do whatever she'd like.

"I put my number in your Contacts. Text me the details and maybe I'll see you there." She says giving me a wink and a smile that knocks me on my ass.

This girl is something extraordinary that is for sure.

Before I have the time to respond, she's around the corner running towards town.

 **Sorry it took so long getting this chapter up! I will hopefully be posting one other chapter later today and then 2 tomorrow as well to get caught up. By Wednesday I'll be back to posting 1 chapter a day.**

 **Please feel free to leave a review and tell me how you're liking the story so far. Next chapter will be about the pack meeting and getting to know Emma. How do you think she's going to handle all of them eating so much food?**


	4. Chapter 4

**I Do Not Own Twilight or anything associated to Stephanie Meyers. I own only my original character.**

Emma's (POV)

I seriously cannot believe that I gave Paul my phone number!

I don't know what I was thinking…actually wait, I do know. It's that I wasn't thinking at all.

A rational thought process is proving to be impossible when I'm around Paul.

But I mean, can you blame me? He is seriously HOT! And I mean it's not just that, there's something about him. He does something to me that I just can't explain.

I'm getting off track… He's getting me off track.

 _Focus_

Right.

I've still got 3 sets of 50 crunches, 10 sets of 10 squats and 5 sets of 10 burpees to do before I get ready for this bonfire thing.

Wait… am I really going to this bonfire?

Yes. Yes I'm going. I need to branch out and be around people.

No too much though, obviously, because then they may start to get suspicious.

This is just normal socializing. Not about Paul at all.

Paul…..

 _Emma….. Focus._

Okay okay. Focus. Got it.

I begin my work outs and go over everything I've done up until this point today.

First thing this morning as soon as I got up I ran downstairs to step onto the scale. Last night was a good test to see roughly where my starting point is, but no weight is as accurate as first morning weight. I was surprised to see that instead of the 113 that haunted my nightmares last night, I was welcomed with 112 lbs.

Unfortunately, 112lbs still puts me into the normal BMI category of 18.6.

When I was in hell my doctors told me that BMI wasn't important.

"It's nothing to obsess over Emma." They used to tell me.

Right. Because doctors know best.

They 'knew' that I was 'recovered'.

Boy were they all wrong.

The thing about being in treatment and then coming out is that everyone expects you to go about living your life as if nothing ever happened.

They don't view it like they should.

If you say the right thing, act the right way, eat what they give you and are a good little girl, then they think they've "cured" you.

They honestly don't know anything.

But I got out. I did as I was told. I was a good patient, doing everything by the book. Now that I'm away I can be who I need to be. Who I truly down deep within want to be.

After I finish my work outs, I run upstairs to take a shower, and then start getting ready for the bonfire Paul invited me to.

I put on a black (because it's the most slimming color) long sleeve pull over with some black skinny jeans and my maroon vans.

As soon as I'm dressed and my hair is air dried, I walk over to check my phone for any messages.

Nothing.

Maybe he was just being polite when he was asking me and he didn't actually want me to come.

Just as I'm contemplating changing my clothes and going for another run, I hear a knock at the door.

I run down the stairs, open the door and none other than Paul is standing there with this sheepish grin on his face.

I almost want to chuckle.

"I thought you were going to text me the details" I say with a grin.

"Well I thought about it, but I realized since we live just 2 houses apart, why not go together?" He tells me looking a little awkward.

Together.

That word just melts me.

What I wouldn't give to be 'Together' with Paul…. And I don't even really know him.

What the hell is happening to me?

 _Emma if you were with Paul the way you want to be, he would notice you're not eating and all of the exercising you do. He would want to put you back. Do you want to go back? Or do you want to be thin and beautiful and perfect?_

I will never go back. I will be thin and beautiful. Whatever it takes.

"Is that okay?" he asks me softly.

"Oh uhm yeah… sure." I say giving him a small grin hoping my silence wasn't noticed.

I grab my royal blue sweatshirt in case it gets too cold and we head out the door.

"So how far away is your friend's house?" I ask trying to fill the silence.

"Oh it's not far, just up on the next street." He says.

We walk in silence the rest of the way. I can't help but glance over and gawk at him when I think he isn't looking.

He is a beautiful man. It actually kind of hurts my eyes to look at him.

There's no way he would be together with me.

He looks to be in amazing shape and me…. well I'm nothing but a standing piece of fat.

Everything about me is fat.

He'd never want me….

"Here it is." He says gesturing to a little red house behind some trees and pulling me from my thoughts back to reality.

It's a really quaint place and I can see over in the clearing next to the cottage the bon fire that they've got going.

I stop dead in my tracks when I smell it...

Food… my greatest enemy.

It's like I'm frozen… I can't move any closer.

No one said anything about food. It's a bonfire…. I figured they'd have some smores maybe but not actual food.

Sweet things are easy to say no to.

But actual food is another ball game.

I'm suddenly feeling very nauseous and light headed as the smell of hot dogs fills my nose.

I haven't eaten anything solid since I left Georgia to come to Forks.

I can't break my resolve now. I clutch my stomach and think I actually might pass out.

 _You can't let this get the best of you Emma. Show them you're stronger than their fatty food. You ARE strong enough to get through this. You will say no at all costs. You will not eat anything tonight._

Right. I'm strong enough for this.

Of course I am.

"Emma you okay?" I hear Paul ask me.

I hadn't realized that he was staring at me while I was having my tiny little breakdown.

"Yeah yeah I'm great." I say giving him my most convincing smile.

He eyes me suspiciously but starts walking and leading me to the bonfire.

Once we get there I can see quite a few people all sitting and talking.

"Everyone, this is Emma." Paul tells them smiling the widest smile I've seen yet.

"Hi." I say sounding a little shy.

One by one Paul's friends come up and introduce themselves to me.

They are seriously all HUGE. If I didn't know any better I would think they were all related.

"Freaky huh?" A beautiful girl comes up and says sitting next to me on my tree stump.

"I'm sorry?" I ask her confused.

I turn around to look at her and I want to curl up into a ball and be done with my life.

She has got the smallest arms I think I've ever seen. She's toned in all of the right places and her legs are so dainty and beautiful.

This girl has just become my inspiration.

She is so skinny.

"Oh sorry, I'm a little weird. You'll have to excuse me haha. I'm Renesme, but you can call me Nessie" She says holding her hand out to shake mine.

I hesitate not sure if I want to shake her hand. My fat fingers and wrists might literally break hers.

"Emma." Is all I respond.

I continue to sit there while she babbles on about all of the guys and girls I'd met tonight while I "mhmmed" and "ahhed" pretending to be listening to what she was saying.

She acts like I'm part of their little friend group even though I literally just met them.

The only thing I can think about is the food everyone is now putting on their plates.

I can't hear anything else or see anything else but that food.

It's taunting me I know it….

I'm pulled out of my daze just as Paul is walking up to me with 8 hot dogs on his plate.

"Hey Emma, you hungry? There's plenty of food over there." He tells me pointing to where the devil food is.

I want to cry looking at him.

How can he eat that much and be as in shape as he is?

If I took even one bite it would be over for me.

I would instantly gain a pound.

It doesn't seem fair.

I can't do this.

My hands are shaking and I'm feeling light headed from the smell of the food on his plate.

I can't afford to make a mistake.

 _No mistakes Emma. You say no. Always. Do you want to ruin your fast? You're 2 days in. Are you going to let those nasty fat filled hot dogs ruin everything?_

No of course I'm not.

"Oh no thanks. I'm fine." I say smiling.

"Are you sure? These thing are delicious." He says in a taunting manner.

"I'm sure. Plus I'm a vegetarian anyways. No meat for me." I say clasping my hands together to will myself some control.

"Oh. I'm so sorry. If I would've known I would've had them make something else for you." He says apologetically.

"It's fine really. I ate before I came here." I lied.

He scrunches his eyebrows together for the smallest second before his face evens out.

We sit there for awhile longer talking about everything.

I told him about my parents and my old friends (that I made up on the spot)

While he told me about his friends and his family.

I swear I could talk to Paul for hours about nothing.

It felt so simple sitting here with him.

I'm fairly certain I could tell him just about anything.

 _Not anything Emma. What are you doing? Are you trying to let him get so close to you that he ruins everything we're working for?_

No. Of course not.

But I can still be his friend. I had friends before you know.

 _Don't let him destroy you. Don't let him put you back._

I won't. I'm never going back.

It became late so we started to head back to our houses.

We walked in silence mostly except for the occasional question we didn't get to before.

I learned a lot about Paul this evening.

For one he REALLY likes to eat. Which could absolutely pose a problem to our new budding friendship.

He's also extremely loyal to his friends, who are basically his family.

Every time they were brought up in conversation, he spoke so highly of all of them.

Don't get me wrong he harped super hard on most of them but it wasn't in a malicious way, it was in an admirable way.

It just made me want to be his friend that much more.

I've never really had any friends. They complicated things too much.

We made our way down the street and up the walkway to my front door.

"I'm really glad you decided to come tonight. It was great having you there." Paul said.

"Yeah. I had a great time. Thanks for inviting me." I replied.

"Maybe we could hang out again tomorrow?" He asked with hope in his eyes.

"Uhm… sure that sounds great." I said with a smile.

 _What are you doing Emma? You need to be planning out your exercises for tomorrow. Not planning on being with some boy who eats WAY too much food. He's going to make you slip up. Or worse yet you'll stay strong and he'll start questioning you._

I won't let that happen. I'll be smart.

"I'll call you tomorrow sometime then?" He asked as he turned away to head to his house.

"Sure sounds great." I replied giving him a wave and shutting the door.

I turned around, ran into the kitchen and filled a cup full of ice to eat so it would help the hunger pains that at this point, are taking over my whole body.

I didn't let myself truly feel them when I was with Paul, but now that I'm alone…. I let them consume me.

 _That's good Emma. You have to feel every ounce of the pain to be able to overcome it._

I know.I remember.

 **Sorry for the late update again! I was hoping to have this chapter up yesterday but I didn't like how it was laid out so I basically re wrote the whole thing.**

 **Please feel free to leave a review and let me know what you think so far!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I Do Not Own Twilight or anything associated to Stephanie Meyers. I own only my original character.**

Paul (POV)

I just left Emma's house and am heading to my own and holy hell I had the most amazing time ever.

I learned so much about her. Not so much about who she really is but I think I got a good sense of her.

She's amazing. Beautiful. Perfect.

She was decked out in all black and looked beautiful. A little too skinny maybe but beautiful. She took my breath away.

That's nothing new though. I'm usually breathless when I'm around her.

And she said she wants to hang out tomorrow!

Seriously could this get any better?

I walk up to my front door and just as I'm about to go in I notice Emma's door open.

I peak over and I see her in a sweatshirt and shorts taking off into the street running.

Why would she be going for a run this late?

Didn't she already run this morning?

She must take exercise extremely serious.

But ya know we were together for about 5 hours and I didn't see her eat one single thing. I know she said she was a vegetarian but she didn't take up my offer on any chips and when the smore making rolled around she didn't want any of those either.

Now that I think about it, she got a super distant look on her face anytime food was mentioned at all.

And any time she was offered anything more than water she had that same exact look.

Something's off about it. I can feel it.

I push those thoughts out of my mind as I head inside to shower before I get in the bed.

I switched my patrol tonight with Seth so that I can actually get some sleep and don't look like a total Zombie tomorrow hanging out with Emma.

Once I feel clean enough I change into my pajamas and drift off to sleep knowing my dreams will be filled with her.

I wake up the next morning probably too early, but I'm eager. Sue me.

I walked downstairs into the kitchen to make myself some breakfast and pull out my phone to send a text to Emma.

 **Me:**

 **Hey. You want me to bring you some breakfast? I'm making pancakes**

 **Emma:**

 **No thanks. I already ate breakfast. What do you wanna do today?**

 **Me:**

 **How about we go to the beach? It's a Sunny day finally. Let's soak it up while we can!**

Emma responded to my first text almost immediately, but it's been 5 minutes since I sent the text about the beach.

I finish my breakfast and walk upstairs to get my swim trunks on and I decide to head down to her house to see what she's up to.

Not that I'm a stalker.

But maybe I am stalking.

Maybe I should just wait for her to text me back.

Just as I've decided to go check up on her she finally responds.

 **Emma:**

 **Sure the beach sounds fun. I've got some stuff to get done first. Come over in an hour?**

 **Me:**

 **Sounds good. See you then.**

I can't help but smile so wide it makes my face hurt.

Okay she wants me to come over in an hour. It'll be lunch time by the time we get to the beach so I should probably pack us something to eat.

Oh we can have a picnic. It'll be like a date.

Score!

I make myself 3 triple turkey sandwiches with lettuce, tomato, mayo and cheese and bring a family size bag of Doritos.

Since Emma told me she's vegetarian I make her 2 PB &J's.

I also make sure to put 4 soda's in the basket.

2 for her and 2 for me.

After about 45 minutes I can't wait anymore and head to Emma's house.

It takes me less than a minute to be at her front door knocking.

It seems to take forever but eventually she answers the door.

"You're early" She says with a sneaky grin.

"What is it they say? Early bird gets the worm?" I say trying to get a laugh out of her.

I bet her laugh is amazing.

"Well come on in. I'm not ready yet. I've just got to change and we'll be good to go. You can sit in the living room if you'd like." She tells me gesturing to the couch and running up the stairs.

I walk over to sit down but something stops me.

I see the scale she bought the other day at Newton's sitting up against the wall.

But that's not what catches my attention.

There is a piece of white notebook paper underneath it.

I know it's not any of my business, and it's not good to snoop but I can't help myself.

From how weird she acted when I saw that scale to her refusing all of the food offered to her last night and watching her leave her house late at night to go for another run. I just have to see what this is.

I lift the scale up and quickly take the paper from underneath it, and open it up.

It's got nothing but dates and numbers on it.

6-12 (1)

113

6-13 (2)

112

6-14 (3)

110

I can't help but think how odd this is.

Is this a paper of her weight on each of these days?

No. It can't be. She's so tiny already. There's no way she's trying to lose weight.

It must be something different.

Yes. Something different.

I hurry and put the paper back underneath the scale just like I found it and go sit on the couch trying to look normal before she comes back downstairs.

Just as I've sat down she runs down the stairs and looks over to me smiling.

"Ready to go?" She asks a little breathless.

"Yep. Let's go." I tell her in a cheery voice just happy to see her beautiful face.

Her beautifully skinny face.

I swear I can see her cheek bones a little more now than just a couple of days ago.

Stop staring Paul. She's going to think you're a freak.

We walk silently to the beach and once we get there I lay down the towels I brought and set the picnic basket down.

"You wanna eat first before we swim?" I ask.

"Oh…. Maybe we should swim first. Don't they say that after you eat you have to wait an hour or something before getting into the water?" She says smirking.

"Haha. I think you're right about that. Swimming it is then." I say eyeing her skeptically.

I take my shirt off and wait for her to take off her long sleeve cover up before we head towards the water.

When she finally takes it off and I see her back I'm a little bit shocked.

Her arms are so tiny I don't know how she doesn't break them picking up small things like a towel.

Not just that but I'm pretty sure I can faintly see her spine, and I can definitely see her shoulder blades. They aren't prominent and someone who wasn't actually looking probably couldn't tell. But I can.

When she turns around I can see her collar bones sticking out of her chest and her ribs slightly poking out of her swim suit.

She wore a one piece bathing suit where most girls would were a bikini.

Is she trying to hide her body?

I quickly pull my gaze away before she catches me staring at her.

"I'll race you to the water" She yells as she starts sprinting towards the ocean.

I laugh probably too loud and start booking it through the sand beating her. Obviously.

I turn around to gloat my victory when I see her stumble a little.

I walk up and put my hand under her forearm to help steady her a little bit.

Her arm feels like it belongs to a skeleton. Not this beautiful girl standing in front of me.

"Hey you alright?" I ask her worried.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I think it was just the sun. It's so bright I can't even tell where I'm going." She says giving me a fake laugh and taking a deep breath.

When she does that I can see her ribs more clearly and her stomach basically goes back so far it hits her spine.

I try not to stare so she doesn't get freaked out.

She says that the reason she stumbled was because of the sun but I think it's something more.

We stand at the edge of the water for a little longer than necessary.

Mainly because I'm afraid that if I let her go she's going to fall and also because touching her skin gives me this feeling.

This absolutely amazing feeling.

It's like electricity.

When she finally looks at me and tells me she's fine I let go of her forearm and grab her hand instead interlocking my fingers with hers.

"Is this alright?" I ask hoping she doesn't say no.

"It's fine." She says blushing slightly.

She still looks a little pale and I'm worried.

"Maybe we should go back to the beach and sit for awhile. We can eat and talk some more. Get to know each other a little bit better." I say to her hopeful.

I see her hesitate with her response but finally she tells me "Really Paul. I'm alright. Let's stay in the ocean for awhile longer and then we can go sit on the beach."

I don't argue with her and instead take advantage of our intertwined fingers and pull her deeper in the ocean.

We jump waves for about an hour and then head to our towels on the beach.

And thankfully too because I'm starving.

I sit on my towel and open up the picnic basket pulling out the Tupperware containing her two sandwiches and set them beside her.

I pull out my sandwiches and start devouring them immediately.

I look up at her with a nervous grin. Realizing that I probably look like a maniac pigging out like this.

"What? I was hungry." I say giggling.

She gives me that distant look again and turns her head to gaze at the ocean.

I notice she doesn't look down at her food once.

"I made you Peanut Butter and Jelly since you don't eat any meat." I say smiling, proud of myself.

"Thanks." Is all she replies. Still not looking at her food or even me for that matter.

"Aren't you hungry?" I ask her.

"No not really. I ate a big breakfast." She replies sounding nervous.

She actually sounds like she's lying.

I could drop the point but I decide not to and I push the topic further.

"Oh. Well what'd you have?" I ask nonchalantly.

She has a horrified look on her face for just a moment before she plasters on a fake calm.

"I had some oatmeal with cut up strawberries, blueberries, and a side of fresh peaches." She says like she's proud of the lie she just told.

Little does she know I don't believe a word coming out of her mouth. I can just sense that she's not being honest.

Must be an imprint thing.

"Oh well that sounds delicious." I say playing into her lie.

I decide to not push her any further about it and eat my lunch while she stares at the water.

Once I'm done I pack up her two untouched sandwiches, the chip bag that is mostly empty thanks to me and the one soda I didn't end up drinking.

Once we're all packed up we head back down the street in silence.

We make it to her house after a short walk.

"I had fun. Thank you for asking me to come." Emma says with a sad look on her face.

"I enjoyed every second." I tell her putting my finger under her fragile chin and pulling her face up so she can see my eyes.

She opens her mouth for just a second like she's going to say something and then instantly shuts it.

Unexpectedly she wraps her arms around my waist and gives me a hug.

I'm momentarily shocked but I take my hands and wrap them around her as well.

I grind my teeth at feeling her body.

I can literally feel every single bone she has.

It makes me angry to think she may be doing something to make herself this way. I would be happy with her a few pounds heavier if I'm being honest. She's just too frail. It isn't normal.

She pulls out of the hug and stands up on her tippy toes to give me a kiss on the cheek.

Even though I'm bothered and upset and confused by her body I could still drop dead from that gesture.

She gives me the softest sweetest look as she starts to wave goodbye and walk in her house.

Before she's able to make it in and shut the door I pipe up

"Oh Emma wait… here take these in case you get hungry later." I say pulling out the two PB & J's I made her and placing them in her hands.

"Thanks, those will make a good snack." Is all she responds as she grips the Tupperware so tightly her knuckles turn white.

Suddenly that sweet soft look she had on her face moments before is replaced by a look that isn't her. It's practiced and cold.

I give her a small smile a wave and head down the street into my house and straight to the computer. I pull up google and type in everything I've noticed about her with food.

 **Becoming distant when food is mentioned.**

 **Writing down weight daily.**

 **Excessive running.**

 **Boney body.**

 **Lying about eating (which I can only assume)**

 **Dizziness.**

I hit enter and honestly don't think I was prepared for what popped up.

Something called Anorexia Nervosa….

 **Please feel free to leave a review and let me know how you're liking the story so far! I appreciate everyone who reads this. 2 more chapters will be posted tomorrow!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I Do Not Own Twilight or anything associated to Stephanie Meyers. I own only my original character.**

Emma (POV)

I had a great day with Paul at the beach. Originally I was so nervous about wearing a swimsuit.

I knew I was definitely not going to be wearing a 2 piece….. that would probably make him vomit.

I looked bad enough in the one piece I had on. I can't be sure how terrible it was because I couldn't bring myself to look in the mirror and see.

I did however drop 2 pounds since yesterday.

That's the kind of pay off you get when you're 3 days in with nothing but water.

He was acting really weird when it came to lunch though. He asked too many questions.

It was so sweet of him to make me something, but ultimately pointless.

I've got another solid 24 hours before I'm letting food anywhere near my mouth.

Before I was sent to hell… I used to challenge myself and see how many days I could go without food.

6 days was my maximum then. I'm determined to beat that record this time around.

I'm stronger now than I was back then. I want it more.

After Paul left, I ran upstairs to change into my running clothes and head out the door for my evening run.

Up until today I'd been running 2 miles a day. 1 in the morning, and 1 in the evening.

Today, that's not enough. If I'm going to be hanging around Paul, even as just friends I need to be perfect.

I've got to push myself even harder.

So tonight instead of running 1 mile I'll run 2.

I start jogging down the street feeling a little weak and shaky from not having eaten in so long.

 _Pull yourself together Emma. Don't you dare quit now. Push yourself harder. Run faster. Get the job done._

 _Push harder. Run Faster. Get it done._

 _Harder. Faster. Get it done._

Right. Of course.

I haven't been pushing myself hard enough that's why I'm getting weak and shaky. I need to work harder if I'm ever going to reach my goal.

So I keep running until I can't anymore.

By the time I get home I've successfully run 3.52 miles.

I jog up the walkway and make my way up the steps and my head starts swimming.

I hurry in the door and sit on the bottom step of the stairs putting my head between my knees so I don't pass out.

I sit that way for about five minutes until I'm sure I'm not going to faint.

Just as I'm getting ready to stand up I hear a knock at the door.

I walk up to open it and who do I see but handsome Paul.

"Hey Emma. Sorry for bothering you, I just wondered if we could talk for a minute" He says with an anxious look on his face.

"Sure Paul come on in" I say a little breathless from running so much and almost fainting.

He walks past me and goes to sit on the couch in the living room.

I follow him and sit in the chair closest to the door crossing my legs in my seat.

After a few minutes I start to get worried, he hasn't spoken and just keeps looking down at his hands.

I decide the only way any talking is going to get done is if I initiate it myself.

"So….. uhm what's up?" I ask

"Emma can I ask you something and you tell me the truth?" He says looking up from his hands into my eyes.

I'm taken aback. His eyes are piercing into my soul it seems like.

I immediately want to shout "Yes of course Paul. I would never lie to you."

 _Emma don't. You know better. Lie at all costs. Do whatever it takes to keep going._

Yes. I know.

It takes me a minute to answer him but eventually I tell him hesitantly "That depends on what you're asking."

I try to blow off my comment as a joke giving him smirk and a wink but I don't think he buys it.

Unexpectedly he grabs my hands and places them in his.

His hands are so warm. I never want my hands to leave his. Not ever.

 _Emma focus. You need your mind strong and prepared for whatever it is you're going to say._

Focus. Right.

"Emma I want you to know that I'm always going to be here. I know that we don't really know each other, but I want to know you. I want to be here for you. There's this connection between us. I know you feel it too." He says staring straight into my soul.

"Yes of course I feel the connection" I blurt out.

 _He's distracting you from your goal. You should be exercising right now. Not talking with this boy. He's getting you off track Emma._

I know. But I don't care right now.

 _You're going to have to make up for this later you know._

I know. I'll work into the late hours of the night.

I can have both.

 _No. You can't. You're going to realize that and it's going to be too late._

I can do this.

I pull my mind back to where Paul is and I smile. A genuine smile.

"I'm glad you told me that" He says leaning forward taking my face in his hands and pulling his lips close to mine.

I cannot accurately describe what it feels like kissing Paul. It's like nothing I've ever felt before.

It's soft and passionate yet hard and lustful.

Like my lips were meant to be connected to his.

I could kiss him for hours I'm sure.

After what is way too short a time, he pulls away and rests his forehead on mine.

"Okay so, back to what I want to ask you." He says pulling his face away but keeping our hands together.

I frown instantly. I don't want to talk to Paul. I want to kiss Paul.

"Emma, what did you eat today?" He asks me nervously.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

This can't be happening. I was so sure he had no clue. I've given him no reason to think anything is going on.

 _Lie Emma._

I want to tell him the truth and that I haven't eaten anything today.

Maybe it's the way his eyes are staring at me, but it's harder for me to lie to Paul right now than it ever was lying to my parents or my doctors.

"Haha. What?" I ask playing off his question.

I don't want to give away too much information.

You get caught that way.

"I was just wondering what you ate today is all." He says again.

"Well Paul, if you must know, I ate 2 very delicious PB & J sandwiches. Plus you already know what I had for breakfast." I told him winking.

He looks up like he wants to say more but stops himself.

I am instantly relieved. But I want to know why he's questioning me like this.

"Why did you ask me that?" I say a little angrier than I'd meant it to be.

"Well I've just noticed how you get around food. You become distant when it's mentioned. You didn't eat anything at all last night and we were together 5 hours. Then today you didn't eat at the beach. You didn't even look at the food. And last night I caught you out running after you got home. It's not normal. Do you know that I can see basically every bone in your body Emma?" He starts taking a deep breath

"I've been doing some research on something called Anorexia Nervosa. I think you need to talk to someone about it Emma. You need help." He finishes.

Oh no. How does he know all of this?

Why does he have to pay so much attention?

 _You need to lie Emma. You've got to fix this or it's all going to be over._

I'll fix it. It won't be over.

"Paul, there is a lot that you don't know about me. I was diagnosed as an Anorexic when I was 15. I spent 6 months at an inpatient treatment facility. The reason you don't see me eat is because I don't eat around other people. It makes me uncomfortable. Food in general makes me uncomfortable. It's all a part of my recovery process. My therapists along with my nutritionists have my diet and my exercise regiment under control. They know everything I eat and every step that I take. " I tell him using my usual monotone lying voice.

Something flickers across his face before he plasters on a calm expression.

"Oh. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cross any lines. I was just worried." Is all he says.

"It's alright. You didn't cross any lines. I'm glad you know." I say giving him a fake smile.

"So, since you're here. You wanna watch a movie?" I ask a little too excited.

"Yeah that sounds good." He says smiling.

I put on Billy Madison and go take a seat by him on the couch.

I can't help but feel like there's too much distance between us on the couch so I scoot over and snuggle up underneath his arm.

I peek up at him as I ask "Is this okay?'

He shakes his head yes and leans down to give me a kiss on my forehead.

I love being with Paul. It makes me feel whole. Like I don't have a care in the world.

 _You must not care. He's snuggling up to a worthless fat whale right now. You're going to have to make up for missing your work outs tonight Emma. You're letting him get in the way of what we're working so hard to accomplish. After he leaves you need to get back on track._

After he leaves I will. Promise.

 **Emma shared some of her past with Paul. Did he believe her though? Or did he know she was lying? Find out next chapter as it will be in Paul's POV. It'll be posted in a few hours!**

 **Feel free to leave me a review and let me know what you think! Thank you to everyone has reviewed so far. I love reading them all!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I Do Not Own Twilight or anything associated to Stephanie Meyers. I own only my original character.**

Paul (POV)

Emma and I start watching a movie a little while ago and now she is sound asleep cuddled up on my chest.

I feel like I'm in heaven right now.

She is even more beautiful when she's asleep.

I'm tempted to just stay here all night, but I've got patrol in an hour so I need to get her up to bed.

I very gently readjust her position on my body and get my arms underneath her to carry her up to bed.

She doesn't even flinch. She must really be worn out.

I get to the top of the stairs and see the door open to what is I assume her room.

I walk in and place her on the bed and pull the large blanket she is obviously using as a comforter on top of her.

She looks so peaceful. Unlike earlier when she looked terrified.

When she told me she had already been diagnosed with Anorexia I was kind of relieved. If she really has gone through all of the treatment and has therapists and nutritionists, then she must really be recovering from it.

But something about the way she said it, it just didn't seem true.

Don't get me wrong I absolutely believe that she went to a hospital for it, but she used all of that as an excuse for her behavior now. I didn't even bring up the paper I found underneath her scale.

And when she told me what she ate for dinner, it seemed like she was lying.

I give her a kiss on her forehead and make my way back down the stairs into the kitchen to check and see if there are any dirty dishes or any evidence that she ate the sandwiches I left with her.

I look around and see nothing indicating someone had eaten in here recently. No crumbs, no dirty plates in the sink nothing.

I then start questioning what she said she had for breakfast so I start opening up all of the cabinets and I find yet again nothing.

I'm getting a little frustrated and extremely worried at this point. I open up the refrigerator and it is completely empty.

She has no food here, not a trace of anything.

I just want to fall apart.

She's really doing this to herself.

I need to do some more research before I talk to her about this again. But I can't afford to let her get any worse.

From what I read, people who starve themselves cause irreparable damage to their internal organs. I can't lose her.

I've only just found her.

She is everything to me now.

So I will do whatever it takes to help her.

I sit there in her kitchen trying to come up with a plan when I glance at the clock.

"Shit I've got to go patrol." I say to myself.

I step out the back door of her house, strip down and phase.

As soon as I'm in my wolf form, though I'm not meaning too, I replay everything I know about what she's doing in my head.

Her boney body, lying about what she eats, writing down her weight, no food in her house.

"Shit Paul, is she alright? Is there anything we need to do to help?" I hear Jake say.

"I don't know man. I'm not even sure what needs to happen at this point." I say anxious.

"Have you talked to her about it?" Jake asks.

I don't answer but instead replay our conversation.

He can tell just like I did that when she told me about her past, she was lying. Trying to use that as a cover up so I wouldn't think she was doing that to herself now.

"Maybe we could get Ness to get closer to her, be there for her as a friend." Jake tries.

"I want to be the one there for her Jake. It needs to be me" I growl.

"Look I know, I get it. But maybe if Nessie got close enough to her she could open up and start realizing she's slowly killing herself." He says.

I howl in pain.

She's killing herself. That's actually what she's doing.

I hadn't thought of it like that up to this point.

How did this all start? What made her think she wasn't perfect and witty and gorgeous and beautiful?

I need to know how or who or what made this happen for her.

I will destroy anything that has made her this way.

"Woah Paul, calm down. We'll figure this out. Whatever it takes." Jake says trying to comfort me.

We finish running our patrol and I head home to pass out. Running patrol is exhausting.

When I wake up I look over to my phone and see that it's just after 11:00 in the morning and I've got a text from Emma.

 **From Emma:**

 **Hey Paul. Want to go grab some lunch?**

Woah. Lunch really? Did I make all of that up in my head yesterday?

I think about it for a second and there's no way all of that isn't real.

She must be trying to convince me she's alright.

Or something like that.

I send a response text playing along. It's better to go with the flow right now than to contradict what she's saying or doing.

So for now I'll play her games, but I will figure this out and make her admit she needs help.

If it's the last thing I do.

 **Me:**

 **Yeah that sounds great. What time were you thinking?**

 **Emma:**

 **Maybe in like 30 minutes? We could go to that diner you said has AMAZING food? ;)**

 **Me:**

 **Yeah that's perfect! I'll be over in 30.**

I hop up out of the bed, quickly shower and put on my dark grey shorts with a light blue v-neck t shirt.

I walk up to her house shortly after and knock on the door.

She answers it in no time.

"Hey Paul." She says giving me a bright, wide smile.

I've never seen her smile like that before. It's dazzling.

"Hey Em, you ready to have some of the best food ever?" I say excitedly.

"Haha, sure can't wait." She replies sounding a little unsure.

We start walking down the street and I'm surprised to feel her hand grabbing mine.

She looks over to me shyly and I give her a huge grin.

"So Emma, about last night, I'm so sorry for bombarding you with questions like that." I say brining up the uncomfortable topic.

Hopefully if she can believe that I'm fine with her lying to me about her situation then I'll be able to see how she really acts and know better how I need to help her.

"Don't be sorry Paul, I'm glad you know me a little better now. Can I ask you something though?" She says nervously.

"You can ask me anything." I tell her using the softest tone I can manage.

"What exactly are we doing? I mean we hold hands, and I fall asleep on your chest, and we… ya know kissed and all. I just want to know what it is we're doing." She says giggling a little.

My mind wanders back to the kiss we had last night.

I've kissed a lot of girls in my time, but not one of them compares to kissing Emma. When our lips met I was lost in a magical place. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced before.

"Well, what do you want this to be?" I say with desperation in my voice.

I want nothing more than to be Emma's boyfriend and one day husband.

I know it'll happen at some point, but being with her, seeing her, touching her, kissing her, I want to do it now until forever.

"Well I suppose you could be my boyfriend, and I could be your girlfriend if that's alright with you." She says blushing a light shade of pink.

"I think that sounds perfect." I say leaning over to kiss her forehead.

I see her give me that bright, wide breathtaking grin again and I melt.

I will be whatever she needs, whenever she needs it.

I'm am hers from now until forever.

 **I'm SO sorry this didn't get posted yesterday. I'm also super sorry it's so short. I'll get 2 chapters up tomorrow. Scouts honor! Do me a favor and leave a review letting me know what you think so far. Things are going to come to a boiling point in the next couple of chapters and they will be way longer! But for now at least Paul and Emma are a couple.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I Do Not Own Twilight or anything associated to Stephanie Meyers. I own only my original character.**

 **Before I start this Chapter I want to address some reviews:**

 **From Twin68: I'm glad Paul knows too! I love that you review it encourages me to write much faster!**

 **From Y: I haven't updated my other story because I felt stuck. It wasn't going in the direction I wanted to take it. I'll think on it for a few days and maybe update it soon?**

 **From Anonymous: I know what you're saying because I was diagnosed 4 years ago. I'm not going to let it play out in the way you described. I'm not romanticizing it or letting someone swoop in and save the day. That's not how it works. If you'll give it a chance and continue to read you may be pleasantly surprised.**

Emma (POV)

After the shit show that was my conversation with Paul last night, I knew I needed to get it together.

I have to show him that I'm better….. even though it's a lie.

I have to do something so he's not on to me and tries to stop me.

Half way through the movie we were watching I fell asleep and I'm assuming Paul carried me up to bed because around 3:00 a.m I woke up in under my blanket.

 _You fell asleep Emma. You didn't put in the work you needed to yesterday. I'm so disappointed in you. I thought you wanted this. Don't you want it Emma? To be beautiful and thin? Light as a feather?_

Yes. Of course I do. I'll do anything.

 _Show me. Get up and put in the effort._

Okay. I will.

 _We're going to have to do something about Paul. Come up with a plan to throw him off track. Show him you're alright_.

I know. I know.

 _Reconnect with your coach. Ask her for help. She'll know what you need to do._

My coach! Yes of course.

I haven't talked to her since I got locked up in hell.

Back when this all started for me, I didn't know exactly what I was doing. I was just eating less and running more. It wasn't until I found an Ana (Short for Anorexia) group online and found Luna that I started the real work.

She helped me through every situation for over a year. She told me what I should and shouldn't eat, how to hide what I was doing from my parents. How to fake weighing when they got overly suspicious. She was the one that taught me to skip breakfast and then eventually lunch and dinner. She made me strong. She is my inspiration…

I need to talk to her. Ask her what I should do about Paul!

 **Me:**

 **Luna…. I miss you. I'm so sorry it's been so long. My parents sent me to hell.**

 **Luna:**

 **Emma! I missed you so much. How are you doing? How much weight did you gain?**

 **Me:**

 **Well, my first day there I weighed in at 92lbs. I left there weighing 125lbs.**

 **Luna:**

 **Holy shit. Those bastards. I'm so sorry they forced you into that. How's your progress now? I'm assuming you made it out?**

 **Me:**

 **Yes thank god! As soon as they opened the gates and I stepped out of hell, the watched me like a hawk. I couldn't get away with anything. It was torture. It took a couple of years but eventually I had them convinced I was "cured" so they started trusting me again. I started the work again at that point. Not as much as I would've liked, but I got down to 113 with them and now I'm on my own so no one is here to stop me. Well almost no one…..**

 **Luna:**

 **Damn I can't believe it took that long. At least you're back on track now. And what do you mean almost no one?**

 **Me:**

 **Well there's this guy, his name is Paul. I've been hanging out with him for the past week and there's this connection between us that I can't explain but he questioned me last night. Asked me why I got so weird around food and why he'd never seen me eat anything…**

 **Luna:**

 **Emma you should know better than to get involved with some guy. It just makes everything harder for yourself. What did you say?**

 **Me:**

 **I know, I know but I can't help it. I feel drawn to him. When we touch it's literally electric. I wasn't sure how to go about it, but I told him that I got diagnosed with Anorexia a long time ago and being around food now makes me uncomfortable. Then I told him about having therapists and nutritionists that monitor my every move and my every bite. I did the best I could to make him believe it but I don't think he did and now I need help… what do I do?**

 **Luna:**

 **You should invite him to lunch. Throw him off course. Try and make him believe that you trust him enough to eat with him. After you go to lunch, go grocery shopping and buy a bunch of food to keep your house stocked for when he's over.**

 **Me:**

 **But if I invite him to lunch I'll have to eat something. I don't want to do that. I've been so strong up to this point. I don't want to break now.**

 **Luna:**

 **Don't worry. Just order a Salad, no dressing. He shouldn't question that because you told him you were uncomfortable with food anyways. Take a few real bites, and push the food around your plated to make him think you're eating more than you are. Put another few bites in your mouth and spit them into a napkin so you don't eat more than is necessary. And then when you're done, go home and burn off everything you ate, plus some.**

 **Me:**

 **I knew you'd know what to do. You're the best Luna. Have I ever told you that I love you to death?!**

 **Luna:**

 **Anything for you my darling dear. Stay strong. Don't get carried away or you'll mess everything up. Let me know how it goes. I've truly missed you more than I can say Emma.**

 **Me:**

 **Me too. I'll get back on later and give you a run down!**

After my conversation with Luna I feel more prepared to handle Paul. I think I can really have him in my life and not royally screw up everything I've worked for.

It's just now a little after 4:00 a.m so I get up and get ready to go for my run, knowing I won't have a chance until later tonight.

Before I do that though, it's weigh in time.

I step on the Scale- 108lbs.

I'm feel such a relief. I'm finally at an underweight BMI. But I can't stop now. I've got to work harder because the weight isn't going to come off as easily now. I'm going to be stuck if I don't push myself further.

I manage to make myself run 4 miles this morning and finish out my work out with 100 crunches, 50 lunges on each leg and 25 push ups.

I feel exhilarated as I'm working out this morning. I can already feel the difference being at 108, I feel lighter.

I make sure to quickly down 32 ounces of Ice cold water so my appetite will be under control when Paul and I go to lunch.

Speaking of Paul, and lunch, I pull my phone out to send him a text Inviting him.

It's after 10:00 a.m but I'm not sure if he's even awake.

While I wait for him to respond, I decide to get a little more exercise in so I start running up and down the stairs.

I don't stop until I hear my phone go off.

I open it up and see that it's a text from Paul accepting my invitation for lunch.

I suggest we go to the diner he mentioned on my first day here and he's obviously on board with that.

I tell him to meet me in 30 minutes and I rush up to get in the shower.

Once I'm done washing the work out off of me, I pull on some ripped black skinny jeans, and a cream colored sweater than hangs down a little low with my rose colored low top converse.

I brush my hair out and let it go natural.

Paul is at the door knocking as I'm making my way down the stairs. I open it up and give him a genuine smile.

I want him to believe that I'm alright and that I can trust him

We head out the door and make small conversation . He apologizes for questioning me last night and I blow it off like it isn't a big deal.

After a little while I make a bold move and grab his hand.

I know it's probably not what Luna would want me to do or what my brain is screaming at me to do, but I like Paul. Something about him says Home to me.

I nervously ask him what it is that we're doing.

He seems confused at first which makes me giggle.

Eventually we decide that we are dating.

My heart warms at that.

 _Emma. You're not here to date. You're here to get your life together. Stay on track. You know what you're supposed to do._

On track. Yes. I know what I'm doing.

Shortly after, we arrive at the diner.

As soon as Paul opens the door, the smell of fried, greasy food hits my nose and make me nauseous instantly.

 _Pull yourself together or you're never going to get through this._

I've got it under control. I've got this.

A waiter comes over and shows us to a little booth in the back corner and places 2 menus down before taking our drink order.

"I'll have a water with lemon please." I tell him giving a small smile.

"Strawberry milkshake for me." Paul says shooting a wink in my direction.

I just giggle and open the menu to see what my options are.

I see that they've got a side salad listed and instantly know that's what I'm getting.

The waiter comes back with our drinks and takes our food order. When I say that I want the side salad, no dressing, Paul eyes me a little suspiciously. I pretend like I didn't notice.

When Paul tells the waiter his order my mouth almost drops open.

He ordered 2 double cheeseburgers and 2 sides of French fries. Who the hell eats like that and has the type of body he has?

It should be universally impossible.

I shake it off, not spending time to dwell on what I could never have.

No, not what I could never have, but more what I will never want.

It doesn't take long before our food arrives and I finally speak up to make conversation so he's partly distracted.

"So, uhm. I meant to tell you thanks for taking me to bed last night." I tell him a little shy. 

He laughs but responds "It's no problem at all really. You didn't even notice when I moved you."

"Yeah I was pretty tired." I say taking a small bite of my salad.

"Wow, you're totally right about the food here. This salad is awesome." I say smiling.

"I'm glad you like it…. Emma can I ask you something?" He says looking a little uncomfortable.

Oh no.

"Of course Paul." I say giving him a reassuring smile.

"Is it hard for you to be here? I mean at lunch with me… eating." He says looking down at the table.

I lean forward to make him raise his head and look at me so that I can be as convincing as possible.

"Yes as a matter of fact it is. But I'm making an effort." I say very seriously.

"I'm glad. I don't want anything happening to you." He says, honesty dripping from his voice.

"Thanks. It means a lot." I say halfheartedly.

This is going to get complicated I can tell.

I absentmindedly pull my fork up to have another bite of salad.

 _Emma remember what Luna said, only a few bites. Don't lose control now._

I won't. I've got control.

I go ahead and put the bite in my mouth and start chewing, once I notice that Paul has looked away I pull the napkin up to my mouth and spit it out, pretending to wipe my mouth.

We continue like this for awhile making small talk about each other.

I've managed to put away half my salad, hiding most of it in the napkin I put on top of my plate.

I only had 3 actual bites (95).

I'm going to have to burn that off later because that was really 3 bites too many.

So much for that control.

Fuck me.

The waiter comes back to our table and sets the check down.

I reach my hand in the back pocket of my skinny jeans to pull out my money but Paul stops me.

"I'm paying Emma." He says sternly

"You really don't have to. I'm more than capable of paying for my meal." I reply a little offended.

"I'm sure you are, but this was a date and women do not pay on dates." He says trying to hide his huge grin.

"Oh a date huh?" I say smug.

"Yes. Our first date in fact." He replies no longer being able to hide the wide grin spreading across his face.

Not that he was that successful to begin with.

I don't say anything else but instead walk up to him and plant a kiss right on his plump perfect lips.

He's taken aback by my directness, but only for a second, soon he's kissing me just as passionately as I'm kissing him.

I end up getting lost in the kiss.

It could've been hours, days, months, I didn't care.

Kissing him is unreal.

He pulls himself away, hunger in his eyes.

I'm talking sexual hunger.

It just makes me want to kiss him more, longer, harder, more than kiss.

But instead he sets money down for the check grabs my hand and we walk out of the diner.

"So, did you want to go home or were you planning on something else?" He asks.

"I actually need to go to the grocery store if you'd like to come. I have literally no food at home. I ate the last of it yesterday morning for breakfast." I lie.

"Oh sure, that sounds great." He says a little more perky than I'd like.

We head off to the grocery store and end up spending around an hour picking out different foods.

He helps me carry the bags home and once we walk n I start putting things in their designated spaces.

He sits on the bar stool behind the counter just watching me.

Eventually I turn around "What are you staring at" I say giggling.

"Nothing, Nothing its just that….." He starts.

"It's just that what?" I push

"You're really sexy when you're organizing food like that." He says with a devilish grin on his face.

I can't stand it anymore at this point. I have to kiss him before I explode.

I run over and hop onto the counter so that my lips are the same height as his.

I place my legs on either side of his body and pull his lips towards mine.

It starts off innocently but very quickly turns passionate and I yearn for more.

I break away from him so that I can pull my shirt off.

But then I stop.

He's not going to want to see the fat rolls I've got. He'll be disgusted and run away. I can't let him see me like that. What am I doing?

"Paul, I think you need to go before things get too far." I say in a monotone voice.

I can't break right now. Not while he's here.

I'll wait until he's gone to let the darkness overtake me.

"Uh…. o-okay." He says unsure.

I give him a smile and another small peck on the lips and then soon after he's walking out the door.

I jump down from the counter and run upstairs, no longer being able to hold in the tears.

I'm so disgusting. Why do I have to be so fat?

 _You don't have to be fat Emma. You know that. Go for a run, clear your head. Come back and do some more exercises burn off the fat until it no longer exists. You can do this, you just need to be strong. Keep your focus and you'll reach your goal in no time._

Yes a run will really help. I don't have to be fat. I will change it, reach my goal.

Whatever it takes.

Whatever it takes.

 **I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I won't be able to post another today like I planned but I'll have a chapter posted tomorrow! Feel free to leave a review and let me know what you think.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I Do Not Own Twilight or anything associated to Stephanie Meyers. I own only my original character.**

 **I am SO sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter up. I was on vacation last week so I didn't have really anytime to write.**

Emma (POV)

It's been 2 weeks since my kitchen meltdown with Paul. I have successfully convinced him I'm getting better even though I've lost more weight in the last 2 weeks that I thought was possible. I've been pushing myself harder than I ever have before. Running more, eating barely anything, doing more lunges, more crunches, anything I can to burn off the fat.

I woke up this morning and breathed a sigh of relief when I stepped on the scale and it read 98lbs.

6 more pounds to go until I reach my lowest weight.

I'm almost there. I can't even believe it.

At a certain point during this process the hunger pains stopped like I expected they would.

That was probably the biggest relief ever.

I put on my running clothes and head out the door to start my day. I've had to start running at 3:30 every morning to keep from Paul noticing. It gives me plenty of time to get a good work out in and not cause any type of suspicion.

I ran a whopping 6 miles this morning and finished my work out with 100 lunges per leg, 150 crunches and 55 push ups.

I feel amazing, but I don't think that feelings going to last long. Paul has a romantic evening planned for us.

We have gotten a lot closer these past couple of weeks. It's been really nice.

He comes over every afternoon and we have lunch. Well, really he scarves down as much food as he can and I pretend to eat a small salad, then we go out and do whatever crazy thing he's got planned, though sometimes I make him stay home and watch movies with me.

We spend a lot of time with his friends.

I don't really mind so much, I've gotten quite close to Nessie since Paul and I became official.

She's extremely attentive though.

I remember the night she caught me. We were at Jakes house having yet another bonfire.

Paul made me a salad to bring because they were having, yep you guessed it, hotdogs.

I opened my salad up while Paul was over getting his huge plate of food, and dumped half of it out and hid it underneath a log that was sitting near me.

As soon and I had hidden the evidence I heard someone clear their throat right next to me and I froze.

"Uh uhm. What are you doing?" Nessie asked with her hand on her hips.

"Oh, a bug flew in it and I felt like it had been contaminated so I got rid of the part I felt like had bug on it." I said playing it off with a small giggle.

"Ahh." Was all she responded as she gave me a stern glance and walked away.

My heart just about stopped thinking I'd been caught, but she hasn't brought it up since so I assume she bought my bogus story.

Along with spending a lot of time together, Paul and I have become quite a bit more intimate.

We still haven't gone 'all the way' but I think we just might tonight.

I'm not really near where I want to be weight wise, but I bet if we had all the lights off he wouldn't be able to see the fat rolls that live all over my body.

I've been having a hard time holding myself back, because let's be honest, that boy does something to me that I can't quite explain.

I quickly hop in the shower and when finished, walk into my room to put on my black leggings and my royal blue lace dress with my dark grey vans.

I blow dry my hair and then straighten it putting on a tiny bit of makeup.

As soon as I'm ready I hear Paul open the door.

"Emma, are you ready to go?" He shouts up the stairs.

At this point, he's over here so frequently he doesn't even bother knocking.

I run down the steps into his awaiting arms and give him an extremely passionate kiss.

I almost tell him to forget about the date, and have my way with him right here and now.

But I'm not going to risk it while it's still light outside.

"Down girl." He says giggling against my lips.

I just give him a pout as he places me down and grabs a hold of my hand.

We walk out the door and down the street.

"So where are we going?" I ask impatiently.

"It's a surprise, but we're almost there." He responds giving me a wink.

How could we be almost there? We literally just walked out of my house.

I realize just as we're walking down the path towards his house where we're going.

"Paul, if I'd known we were just hanging out at your house, I would've worn regular clothes." I complained.

"Just wait and see." He says.

He opens the door for me and I walk inside.

He's got the entire house lined with twinkling lights and lit candles.

I gasp as I walk in and take in this sight. It's beautiful.

"Oh Paul. This is amazing." I say in awe.

He pulls me towards the kitchen where he's got two plates set with a beautiful white candle between them.

"Mmmmm. This looks fancy." I say smiling.

He pulls my chair out for me and I sit as he pushes me back in towards the table.

"I've prepared a meal special just for you." He says proudly.

"You cooked?" I asked surprised.

He just laughs and uncovers the glass pan that is sitting beside the candle on the table.

"Vegetable lasagna." He tells me smiling from ear to ear.

I panic just a little. It may be vegetable, but I can see the noodles (roughly 800), the sauce (140), the cheese (380) it's too much.

I would never let myself eat that. When I have eaten with Paul the only thing I've brought myself to take a bite of was Salad.

It smells amazing, but one bite of this will ruin me. I'm finally at 98, and this is going to crush all of that progress.

 _Emma stay strong, you've got to keep Paul in the dark. You will be able to get rid of it. You know what to do._

I know. I know.

When I was faced with situations like this before I was sent to hell, I would take as few bites as I could manage without having everyone notice my lack of eating, and then run to the bathroom to throw it all up.

It's not my favorite thing to do, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Looks delicious" I say smiling like everything is fine.

"I hope it's good. I've never made lasagna with zucchini and squash before. But like they say, there's a first time for everything." He responds looking a little unsure.

I take the spatula from him and cut me a small slice while I hand it to him and wait for him to do the same.

He takes a slice 3 times the size of mine and gestures for me to try it.

I take my fork and cut my small slice into 75 smaller bites.

I plop one into my mouth and cringe at how amazing it tastes.

"Do you like it?" Paul asks skeptical.

"It's amazing Paul. Who knew you could cook this good?" I tell him giving him a big grin.

He responds with a huge grin of his own. When he smiles at me like that the world stops and I can't think straight.

It's like he sucks me into an alternate universe where everything is perfect.

But soon I'm brought right back down to reality.

We spend the next 30 minutes talking, laughing and smiling over dinner.

I manage to eat 28 bites of my food before I want to cry myself into nothingness for ruining everything this way with this fatty horrible delicious demon food.

Paul eats his entire slice plus another huge one leaving a small corner of the pasta dish left.

Once he's finished he grabs my plate and heads towards the sink.

I use this opportunity to excuse myself to the restroom so that I can take care of the mistake I've made.

"Do you mind if I use your bathroom?" I say standing up from the table.

"Sure it's up the stairs second door on your left." He tells me.

I make my way to the bathroom, close the door and make sure that it's locked.

I pause in there for a minute or so, and then turn on the faucet to help drowned out the sound of what I'm getting ready to do.

I get on my knees in front of the toilet and begin to get rid of the evil I allowed into my body.

After 3 attempts I'm able to get a good amount back up and into the toilet where it belongs.

After a few more tries, I start to feel dizzy.

 _Keep going Emma. Get rid of every bite._

I wobble just a little bit and blink my eyes rapidly trying to get the black spots covering them to disappear.

 _Don't you dare stop now. You need to get rid of that poison._

I keep going.

The blackness is overtaking my vision entirely and I can't see anything anymore.

 _Come on Emma. Get it out. Keep Going_.

I keep going until I can't keep myself upright any longer and then I'm on the floor fading into darkness.

 **I want to apologize for getting this up so late and for it being so short. I should have 2 new chapters up tomorrow! Next will be Paul's POV! Let me know what you think so far. I'm not crazy in love with this chapter but it's mainly a filler because things are about to get interesting!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I Do Not Own Twilight or anything associated to Stephanie Meyers. I own only my original character.**

Paul (POV)

After I brought up Anorexia with Emma, things have actually been great.

We've had lunch together every single day. Granted all she seems to want to eat is Salad and even then she doesn't really eat that. But in her defense, I know how hard it is for her to eat in front of anyone.

I'm just glad she's making an effort. I haven't seen her running anymore, and her house has always got tons of food. I should know, because I eat most of it.

I think what she told me that night about being in recovery must be true. I feel kind of bad for doubting her, but she's still so tiny.

Every time she's in my arms I can swear I feel more bones on her body. But, it's not easy for her.

She hasn't really told me too terribly much about how it is for her, but if I know anything I know it's hard.

I planned a romantic dinner for us tonight at my place. It took me hours setting up all the lights and candles, but Emma deserves the best.

I know she wouldn't want to go out to a restaurant, too many people looking while she eats.

I found a recipe online for a Vegetable Lasagna and tried the best I could to follow it step by step.

I have to be honest in that it was really pretty amazing. I'm a damn good cook.

Emma seemed to enjoy it as well. She had a small slice, which I halfway expected.

What I didn't expect, was how she took that small piece and cut it into a million even smaller pieces. I didn't bring it up though, I was just glad she was eating more than salad.

After dinner I started cleaning the dishes when Emma stood up and asked for the bathroom.

I had all of the dishes clean, and had the extra slice put into a container for Emma to take home, and she still wasn't back from the bathroom.

It's been like 10 minutes, I wonder what's going on?

I debate going upstairs to check on her, I don't want to bother her if she's using the bathroom, but I feel like something might be wrong.

It's like this twinge in my gut telling me to go see.

I walk up the stairs and turn to the bathroom to knock on the door when I hear the sink running,

She must be done, and washing her hands.

I move away from the door so that she can open it and wait for her to come out.

After a couple of minutes I start to get worried again, the sink is still running and it doesn't take anyone that long to wash their hands.

I take a leap of faith and knock on the door "Emma" I say.

I hear no response, I turn the handle and it's locked.

"Emma, are you alright in there?" I ask again a little more panic seeping through my voice.

Still no response.

I run downstairs to grab a butter knife to unlock the door.

Once I have the door open I fall to my knees, I see Emma passed out on the floor one hand on the toilet.

I immediately pick her head up and place it on my lap.

"Emma, Emma can you hear me? Emma?" I shout scared.

I look over and see what looks to be vomit in the toilet.

Did she do this to herself? Why would she do this? She seemed so much better.

Maybe I've been fooled and she's not better.

I lift her dress up to expose her back and stomach and I gasp.

"Oh my god. Emma no." I say broken.

You can see every bone in her body, it's like she's a living skeleton.

"Emma what have you done?" I cry out holding her delicate body in my hands.

I press two fingers in her fragile wrist to check for a pulse, it's there, but it's extremely faint.

I pick her up in my arms and start running out the door.

I decide to take her to the Cullen house, so I run as fast as I can trying to get there before I lose her.

Once I arrive I run up the steps and before I can bang on the door it's already open and Dr. Cullen is standing there examining Emma still in my arms.

"Please help her." I say dread flooding my voice.

"Of course, let me take her." He says calmly.

He takes Emma out of my arms and darts up the stairs until I can no longer see him. I make my way to follow him when I see Edward and Bella Cullen standing there.

"Paul, please make yourself at home. Carlisle will come talk to you soon." Bella says gesturing to the couch.

I do as they ask even though what I really want, no, what I really need is to be where Emma is.

I plop down on the couch and put my head into my heads, shortly after I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I look up and see Jake standing there with Nessie.

"Dude, what's going on?" He asks me confused.

"She's not better Jake. I can't believe I let myself think she was. I found her passed out on my bathroom floor. I just wanted to make her dinner, something other than Salad for once! She was in there trying to throw up what she ate. I found it all in the toilet. I can't lose her. I can't. What am I supposed to do? I was going to tell her I love her tonight." I say with sadness.

"Paul, she'll be alright. Carlisle is the best. He'll be able to help her." Jake replied taking a seat next to me.

"No he won't. Don't you see that? If anyone should be able to help her it should be me, and even I can't do anything about it!" I told him angrier this time.

"Paul, she's got to want help. No one is going to be able to help her until she wants it." Nessie says speaking up.

"Ugh. I just want to figure out how this all started for her. Why would she think that she needs to do this? Does she think that looking like a skeleton is beautiful?" I say between gritted teeth.

Just remembering the way her body looked tonight makes me sick to my stomach.

"I don't think that's what it's about. She doesn't see herself as a skeleton, she sees herself bigger than what she really is." Nessie says softly.

"But how could she not see what's happening to her?" I reply

"I think she probably sees it in a way, but she doesn't see it like you do or like anyone else does. That's just a part of the type of disorder she has. It's about numbers, calories, the scale, the inches of her waist and legs. Her mind just isn't in the right place right now." Nessie responds.

"How do you know so much about this?" I question.

"At the bonfire last week, I saw her dump out half of her Salad and hide it underneath a log, so when I got home I talked to Carlisle about what I saw and also about what Jake has told me and he explained it to me the best he could manage. He told me that unless she's ready for help, trying to but in and do anything would only push her farther towards what she's already doing." She tells me with her head hanging down.

"You didn't think that I needed to know that? Why didn't you tell me any of this before?" I shouted.

"Because, I didn't want you to bombard her and make things worse Paul! She's going to be my best friend one day ya know!" She shouted back at me.

Just as I was about to start back with her, Dr. Cullen came down the steps.

"Paul, can you come with me please." He said just as calm as he was before.

I stand up and follow him upstairs into what I think is his office.

"How is she?" I blurt out.

"She should be waking up soon." He tells me gesturing towards a seat for me to sit down.

"But how is she? I checked her pulse before we came here and it was pretty faint." I tell him.

" Yes, her heart rate is quite low, but that is what I would expect from someone with her disorder that has gotten this bad. Listen, Paul, at this point she is in danger of doing irreparable damage to her organs if she continues down this road." He tells me.

"How do I fix this? How can I help her? Do I need to put her in some kind of hospital?" I plead with the doctor.

"You wouldn't be able to put her in a hospital Paul, she's 18 she has to want to go on her own and until that point comes, there's not much you can do unfortunately. Someone in her current condition is not going to accept help. She's going to have to hit rock bottom before she can start the long agonizing road to recovery." Dr. Cullen says.

"Can I see her?" I ask

"Yes of course she's right this way. I've got her hooked up to some fluids right now, she was extremely dehydrated and is severely malnourished. Just be there for her for whatever she needs." He says giving me a small smile while leaving the room.

I sit down in the chair right next to her bed and take her hand in mine ever so gently.

I feel her fingers start to twitch and look to see her eyes opening.

"Hey there." I say smiling.

"What happened? Where am I?" She asks a little groggy.

"I brought you to see Dr. Cullen after you passed out in my bathroom." I tell her.

She immediately sits up and looks at the IV that's in her hand. She pulls the hand I'm holding away and quickly rips out the IV.

"Emma what are you doing?" I ask getting ready to go get Carlisle to put the IV back in.

"I'm not doing this again. You can't make me." She shouts, crying frantically.

She pushes herself up off the bed and tries to make a break for the door.

I grab her arms and pull her to sit on my lap.

"It's alright Emma. No one is making you do anything. You were dehydrated so he was just giving you fluid." I tell her in the softest voice I can manage.

She buries her head in my chest and continues to sob.

"I'm sorry." She cries.

"Shh, shh, it's alright. You're alright." I tell her trying my best to sooth her.

She pulls her head back from my chest and looks around to see all of the machines.

"I have to get out of here. I won't let you put me back. I won't! Do you hear me!" She says shouting trying to stand up.

It takes most of my control not to tell her to snap out of this and quit killing herself but I know that will only make things worse and push her away from me.

"Emma, calm down. No one is putting you anywhere, if you want to go we can go home that's fine." I tell her pulling her back down onto my lap and brushing the tears off of her cheeks.

She nods her head yes and I pick her up to carry her out the door back to her house.

At this point I have no clue what I'm doing. All I know is that I'll be here for whatever she needs.

I may not be able to fix her, but I can do the best I can to be here for her every step of the way.

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this Chapter! Leave a review and let me know what you think!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Long time no see everyone! It's been almost a year since I've updated this Story. I had quite a lot going on, so I wasn't able to write. But, I'm back so we're going to be picking up right where we left off with Emma and Paul. As usual, I only own my character, nothing else.**

 **Emma's POV**

I am completely horrified. Paul found me… he knows now. How could I have let this happen? Why did this have to happen? I thought I had this completely under control, I had him fooled just enough so that he didn't ask many questions or pry or act suspicious at all.

We've been back at my house for a couple of hours now and I've been pacing ever since.

He hasn't spoken a word yet to me, and I haven't had the nerve to speak first. So we've just been silently together.

Every so often I'll catch him watching me pace, with that concerned loved one look I've come to know so well.

 _I told you Emma. I told you this would happen if you let him distract you. Look at yourself. He made you weak, he's the reason this happened to you. He needs to be dealt with._

Paul did this?

How could this be his fault?

 _If he wouldn't have distracted you, you would be fine right now. No one would know. You'd have already reached your goal because you would be focused on what we're doing and not trying to play house with the boy down the Street._

I can't think about this now.

"Emma, please can you come over here and sit with me?" Paul asks in such a gentle tone.

 _See Emma, look.. he's already trying to manipulate you again. He knows that the Dr. filled you with sugar, and yet he wants you to sit and let all of that soak up into your body instead of running it off like you need to be doing. He doesn't want what's best for you._

Paul doesn't want to hurt me.

 _Are you so sure about that? If he hadn't made that disgusting food tonight, you wouldn't be in this mess right now. You wouldn't have had to get rid of it, if it weren't for him._

He was just trying to do something nice.

 _And look at how well that turned out. When are you going to realize that I'm the only one that has your best interests at heart. I'm the one Emma. Not your parents, or any of your friends, or some boyfriend. It's just me. It's always been me._

I know. But it's Paul.

 _You know he's not good for you. If it continues this way, he'll have you locked up before the week is over. Is that what you want?_

"Emma?" Paul asks coming to stand in front of me.

I stop pacing for a second to look at him, and then walk around him.

He wouldn't do that to me.

 _Isn't that what you said when your parents found out? Look where that got you, locked up in hell for 6 months._

He won't do that to me.

Will he?

 _Emma, you know the answer._

I've got to get out of here.

 _That's my girl._

I don't even take a second to glance back at Paul as I bolt for the front door.

I make it off of the steps and onto the main road as I hear Paul shouting for me.

I can't stop running.

I have to go somewhere. Somewhere I won't be found. I have to get out of here.

 _That's right Emma. Keep running. Don't stop._

I won't.


	12. Chapter 12

**And another chapter bites the dust. I only own my original character**

Emma's POV

At this point, I don't know where I am and I've been running for so long that I can't feel my legs.

So I drop on the ground, in this thick forest I've been running through for hours.

I lie down and curl into a ball.

I'm completely numb.

I can feel my insides screaming at me for some kind of nutrition.

I welcome the pain. Wanting to feel something, feel anything.

I close my eyes and let myself feel every inch of pain in my body.

After awhile, it starts to lessen and my mind starts to go dark.

Finally.

Paul's POV

I don't even know what happened. One second I'm trying to get Emma to just take a second and sit down and the next thing I know she's darting out the front door and down the street.

After I brought her back to her house, she just started pacing around her living room. It looked like she was fighting something within herself, but I can't be sure of what.

I mean, don't get me wrong I have a pretty good guess.

I take off after her, but she's surprisingly fast, even in her condition, and I've lost sight of her.

I pull my phone out and call Sam.

"Sam, I don't know if you've talked to Jake, but It's Emma." I get out as fast as I can.

"I know, Jake called a little while ago. Is she okay? Are you okay?" He asks with a sad tone to his voice.

It's strange how when one of the pack is going through something, it's like the whole pack is going through it as well.

"Look, I was just trying to get her to sit down for a second and she took off. I tried chasing after her but I lost her in the woods somewhere. I can't find her Sam and she's in no condition to be wandering the forest alone. I need help. Please." I plead

"Don't worry we're on our way. It may help if you shift, think of her scent so the rest of us can pick it up." Sam says

I drop the phone and don't even bother taking my clothes off before I shift and they're ripped. I clear my mind and think only of Emma.

I start running at full speed trying to see if I can pick up her scent anywhere.

A short time later I hear the other pack members join me.

We've been at it for 3 hours and still nothing.

"This forest is too damn big! She won't be able to last out here if we don't find her now!" I think angrily

"Dude, we know. We're working on it. Just calm down." Embry replies

"Maybe we should call the Cullen's. We could really use Edwards help." Jacob suggests.

"I'll take all the help we can get." I respond partly broken.

It only takes Jacob a few minutes to get Edward out here helping. And to my surprise, the whole Cullen clan has joined us in our search.

"Are you picking anything up?" I plead

"It's extremely faint but I can hear her this way." He says quickly as he darts off.

I follow him as fast as my animal body will take me and in no time I see her.

She's lying on the ground beneath a huge oak tree with her knees hugged to her chest.

She looks lifeless.

My heart instantly sinks.

No. Emma. Please…

"She's got a heartbeat but it's very faint. She really needs some help Paul." Edward says looking towards me.

"No, if I do that again, we'll just end up back here. Let me shift back and I'll take her home. Can you have Carlisle meet me at her house? And tell him absolutely no IV's."

We get Emma back to her house and I gently lay her in her bed upstairs. I hover over her for a while before I hear Carlisle enter.

"Carlisle, what the hell am I supposed to do? " I sigh.

"Honestly, there's nothing you can do. As I've said before, she has to hit rock bottom before she can truly see what's happening." He responds softly placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Before she bolted, she was pacing, I was just trying to get her to sit down for a minute, but she wouldn't. It was strange, almost as if she was fighting something within herself."

"Most people with this disorder, have another personality within themselves, so to speak. The rational part of them knows that they need to eat, that they're slowly killing themselves from nutritional deprivation, but the other part is constantly there telling them they're worthless, disgusting, etc. This illness at its full capacity is extremely deadly, after a certain point the rational side of them completely disappears and the disorder takes over to eventually kill them." He says in a somber tone.

"How can I just sit by and let that happen?" I cry.

"I don't know that you have another choice. If you try and intervene, it will make matters much worse than this. Give it some time. If it comes down to it, you'll need to contact her parents and have them prove her to be unfit to make sound decisions regarding her health and they'll need to admit her to a hospital." He tells me.

"I really don't want to have to do that…. But if it's what she needs, then I absolutely will." I say.

 **Emma's POV**

 _Emma it's time to wake up now. We've got much more work to do._

No. I don't want to wake up. I want to stay here, where the pain is gone. I'm so tired.

 _But you have to get up. The pain is your body telling you you're winning. We're so close to our goal. We can't stop now._

But how can I keep going? I don't know if I have the strength.

 _I'll help you._

I don't know if I want your help anymore. All you've done for me is cause me pain, mentally, physically, emotionally.

 _I'm your friend Emma. I want what you want…for you to be perfect_.

But don't you see? No one can ever be perfect. I just want to be NORMAL. I want to go on dates with Paul and not be concerned with having to hide the fact that I'm not eating. It's exhausting.

 _You can't quit now. You can't let this boy ruin everything we've worked for!_

He's not ruining anything. It's not just about him! I basically disowned my own family because of this! I've pushed everyone away and isolated myself, and for what?

 _For perfection of course. Everything comes at a cost, you know that._

I do, but I'm tired of paying it. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!

 _Yes you can Emma. Now wake up, there's work to be done._

NO SHUT UP. LEAVE ME ALONE!

 _I can't do that, you should know better. Without me, you'd still be a fat little nobody that was disgusting and worthless. I've turned you into a beauty. That was me!_

No it wasn't you! It was ME! You don't control me. I'm the only one who decides what my life is! I don't want to listen to you anymore!

…

The next thing I know I see Paul sitting beside me holding my hand looking down at the bed I'm laying in.

"Paul?" I whisper

"Emma? Oh thank goodness you're awake. You scared me." He says looking tired.

"I'm sorry about that." I say ashamed.

What have I done to this amazing man?

"Hey Paul?" I say softly.

He looks at me with his beautifully tired eyes. When was the last time he slept? How long have I been unconscious?

"Hmm?" He responds.

"I think I need help."


End file.
